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DRAMATIC LUIGI

MAIL.

 It is 12:12 AM (as of my looking at the computer-clock) and I am totally about to go to sleep. However , there is something I must rant about before bedtime.

And this thing I must rant about...

...is Media Mail.

I'm serious.

I swear to fucking GOD, do not use this shit. This service is made out of Satan and Molasses. Satan covered in Molasses. It is IMPOSSIBLY GODDAMNED SLOW because of the procedure they use for it and people beat the shit out of the packages because LOLBOOKS. It is just about the worst thing in the universe and was probably invented by the Nazis when they were searching for new and interesting ways to torture people.

No, scratch that--this messed-up crap is STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MINISTRY OF LOVE. In fact, my Room 101 is waiting for a book I've been longing to read that is coming through Media Mail. Hell, O'Brien would just have to go "We have a book for you, coming by Med--" and I would start SCREAMING MY BLOODY GODDAMNED HEAD OFF for him to inflict this torture on someone else. Hell, I'd rip myself from my bonds by the sheer force of NOOOOOOOOOOOO and throw my  arms around him in a passionate, desperate frenzy, pleading for him to make the insanity stop as images of postmen kicking around packages and freighters slowly crossing the ocean filled my head, all in ridiculous overcrank like some sort of really bad shipping version of 300--without all of the asskicking.

Sure, it's cheap, but it's...it's just not worth it.

Trust me, world. Just go with Priority.

You'll be saving yourself from a would of pain.

Yes, I order a lot of things off the interwebs--but I didn't remember the pain of Media Mail again until I accidentally ordered something with it two weeks ago. I weep for priority. LOUDLY.

Rant rant rant argh, I need to go to sleep. I have stuff to do tomorrow that is marginally important.

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