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Nov. 5th, 2009

WTF?!

Dear Friends...

 ...Recently we have lost another to the ever-growing, ever life-sucking black hole that is Twilight.  Someone who has filled our lives with generously spacious cardboard boxes, caloriemate, love blooming on the battlefield and meowing Russian boys.

Yes. The person I speak of is our dearly beloved Hideo Kojima.

I don't know how...I don't know why he succumbed to the legend of Stupid Clumsy Girl and Sparkling Abusive Abandonment Fairy, but he has--and if someone as strong has he can succumb, I have only one theory as to why.

Nanomachines.

There are nanomachines in the books that burrow into your hands and make it to your brain, where they infect you. For now, you simply become a fan of Twilight...but later...you fight for SMeyer in her infernal army of lonely housewives and preteen girls to overthrow the government and eventually turn the entire world Mormon so she can impress Joseph Smith and fly away with him into the heavens to get married. I suspect she plans to put Hideo at the front of her Army as his working on Metal Gear Solid somehow made her think that he was actually a soldier, as she believes herself to be Bella and therefore thinks every single work ever created by anyone is a self insert.

I mourn Kojima's infection greatly. We've lost a great one to the plague.

...If Yoshiyuki Tomino is revealed to be a "Huge Fan" of Twilight next, I'm punting someone off the Earth. Then dropping the moon on it. D:< 

Nov. 2nd, 2009

COFFEE MUTHAFAKA

Completely Random Entry

SUP WORLD.

Halloween was great. I didn't get to be Kai because my pants were in the wash (sux) but I was a witch, and I went to Todai and totally stuffed myself on cheap sushi. A rare and wonderful treat for me, since I absolutely cannot stand the taste or texture of cooked fish. On the way back to the hotel some random dude called out to me "Oh my GOD what a beautiful witch! Take me away on your magic broom!" I lol'd. Especially since I had no broom with me, much less a magic one.

Also, a lot of people were recognizing Carrot, who was Sayla. "Ah, Sayla-San!" said one Japanese tourist. "GUNDAMUUU~!" cried another. 80% of the people that recognized her were tourists. It was hilarious. Unfortunately for my friend dressed as Anavel Gato, people kept thinking he was Michael Jackson. Which was super awkward, for real. But he did get one "Sieg Zeon!" which was awesome.

Our hotel room was ghetto, sprinkled with the suspicious liquid belongings of the previous inhabitants (meds and an uncorked bottle of bad white wine) and awkwardly designed as well as allergy-inducing, but altogether it was a rip-roaring good time full of acid reflux, delicious sushi, overly excited Japanese tourists, depressing movies about cats and ice cream.

I can't wait for Kawaii Kon, in which we will stay in an infinitely better hotel and eat ungodly amounts of pizza.

Oct. 10th, 2009

Ecks dee

CELEBRATORY CRAP

 SO UM

I'M ALMOST DONE WITH UNIT ONE OF ROSETTA STONE GERMAN, HUZZAH!

I have come closer to having some sort of base knowledge of German to build upon. WHICH IS WONDERFUL, considering I have mysteious German relatives that I can't understand. One of them constantly tries to talk to me when she's here and all I hear is "kdfhgolygkfdhoidgjg jdfksljk ;ljd;flv,'tif'p;xgjkvt;l ljdflkdfdgkbsdj" so it's infinitely useful. (Especially since all the German-speaking people in our immediate family have died. ;_; ) I ALONE CARRY THE HOPE FOR TOMORROW.

Also it'll be fun to just spout German at the random douchey guys who hit on me/*people who ask me to translate Spanish crap. That'll get 'em to leave. That is, of course, unless they speak German. At which point I'd simply run.



*This does happen. It pisses me off. I don't know any Spanish at all! DX Way to assume, random people!

Sep. 25th, 2009

AHAHA IRL

THIS THING FINALLY APPEARED

 After being in both Shanghai and New York for an impossible amount of time, my wig showed up--as seen in the blurry icon. I TOTALLY DID NOT STYLE IT YET. But it looks awesome. Also, my chin is not long. IDK what happened in that picture but...uh, I do not have a long, jutting chin WTF.

Anyhow, Carrot says that I am the exact image of Kai. IDK about that. When I'm not scowling at the phone in an attempt to properly photograph myself in a mirror without making it blurry (I did not succeed) I just look like a happy prematurely greying chick with dark circles because she totally does not get enough sleep. Probably for the same reason her hair is greying. Which is probably paypal.

Speaking of paypal--I WISH DEPOSITING FUNDS IN IT TOOK LESS TIME FFFFFFF. Hopefully they'll end up transfered on Tuesday or maybe even Monday, so we can get our uniforms already. They've been done forever. ;_;

Argh, cosplay. Why must you be so retarded. -__-

Sep. 20th, 2009

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

Origin Post is Preparing Shipment

 You have been preparing this shipment for about a week, China post. I believe the stamp has been thoroughly licked. You can send my package now. Or, you know...when you're comfortable. Which should be now. No, no...not pressuring. Just trying to let you know that the sooner you get this overwith, the better it will be for you.

Aside from China post being reeeeeally sloooooooow, nothing has managed to happen. (Unsurprising. Hawaii is such a horrifically uneventful place.)

Oh! Oh!

A Chuck-E-Cheese has opened down the street. Which is sweet, because I farking love Arcades, especially ones that happen to have sort of okay pizza and wings. However, this manages to piss me off because:

1. A Chuck-E-Cheese appearing in THE EXACT SPOT WHERE IT WAS PUT has been a dream of mine since I was six. I am not even kidding.

2. Because I am now an adult, I cannot go in without a child. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-- (Unless adults can go in alone, which I doubt...I'm pretty unclear on the rules these days)

3. There is a child I could take there, but she's a goddamned spoiled terror of a brat who for some reason has planted herself in our house.

Sure, I could go to Dave and Busters instead, but...I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE ALONE, and Carrot continues to not be 21. She'd better get on that.  (Speaking of her, I'd better get her that Gihren pepsi cap for her birthday. It's like, SOOOOOO perfect!)

Dammit I need to stop going on E-Bay

Sep. 15th, 2009

WTF?!

WHAT THE GOD IS THIS

 So, uh, me and Carrot were all up in my house this weekend being retarded planning stuff.  It was all good in the hood for the most part. Anything involving multiple Costco hot dogs is all good with me. BUT SOMETHING WAS UP.

Before Carrot came over and marathon'd the shit out of Zeta, I had to step out and do some important crap. I completely forgot what I did but it WAS important. I think. So, uh, anyway, while in the process of stepping out to do whatever it was I was going to do but forgot about, there was this thing on my porch. Like, right in front of the door. At first I was like "LOL, check it out, a fishhead..." then I looked closer and was like "JESUS CHRIST WHAT KIND OF FISH IS THIS KLFGLGHGLK."

IT MIGHT NOT EVEN BE A FISH.

Disturbing Fish-Like Dead Object Under CutCollapse )

Sep. 11th, 2009

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

Learn From Yesterday, Live For Today, Hope For Tomorrow


HEY GUYS I COME BEARING GIFTS BECAUSE I'M COOL LIKE THAT.

Firstly: DID YOU KNOW THAT KAI SHIDEN HAS SOME DRAMATIC-ASS MANGA FOCUSED ON HIM WHAT

Yes it is true, and YOU TOO CAN ENGROSS YOURSELVES IN PICTURES OF ADULT KAI (And young Kai!) BEING DRAMATIC. Unless you know Japanese or Chinese. Which I don't. DAMN IT.

Anyway, this is what I have for you: Japanese raws of the first volume of "The Day After Tomorrow: From Kai Shiden's Report" and links to Chinese scans of "The Day After Tomorrow: From Kai Shiden's Memories." Because seriously I hate being the only one who knows about this crap you guys. (OH BTW, if you know where I can get the second volume of Kai's Report, tell me man seriously I've been looking everywhere. MY SKILLZ AREN'T THAT EPIC.)

The EIW Hawaiian Crow

TAHDAY WAS A GUD DAY

 Today, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED.

I kid, I kid.

Today went with my mother to drop of the smaller of our two cats, Manta Babby, to get spayed. It was considerably easier to take Manta to the vet than it ever is to take Chernobyl, who is ridiculously loud and a gigantic cowardface. I dread taking Chernobyl to get the snip next week, it is bound to drive me and all of the people around me insane. It's worth it, though. I'm sick of them peeing on everything in an effort to claim the most territory. It's like some sort of sick watersports version of World War Two where everyone is Germany--but without the genocide. (There is probably a Hetalia doujishi exactly like this.)

In other awesome news that I absolutely must talk about, both my dog tags and my wig have shipped. And they have tracking numbers! I don't know about you, but I love tracking and recieving packages. It's weird, but it makes me happy~ I can't wait to get them both in. The dog tags should be arriving early next week, or maybe even tomorrow. I think I'll wear them a lot for no apparent reason because I'm weird like that.

The costumes for Carrot and I are both finished, but stuck in limbo as Carrot has not gotten her check in yet. (Therefore, I am incapable of putting her funds into paypal and making the payment.) If it had come yesterday then we would have been able to have our costumes shipped on the 18th, but as of now it looks like they're going to be shipped on the 28th or later instead. *sigh* I was looking forward to getting them in early...people should send things when they say they'll send them, dammit. What is today? The eleventh? That makes the 28th seventeen days from now. >< I am quite seriously ruffled by this situation.

Oh, well. Better late than never, I guess. But early's always way better.

God, I still have to find boots. WHY THE HELL DOES NO ONE MAKE FLAT KNEE HIGHS GOOOOOOD

Sep. 10th, 2009

The EIW Hawaiian Crow

GLOWING PENIS NECKLACE TIME [OMG PICS!!]

 GUYS, YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY OMG.

While I was at the bus stop waiting to go to the McDonald's up the street (because I'm a lazy bastard like that) I SPOTTED SOMETHING NEARBY, ON THE GROUND. It looked like it had slipped out of someone's bag. Curious, I leaned over to look at what it was and almost died of LOL when I figured it out with the magic power of reading the package.

IT WAS A PINK FLASHING PENIS PACIFIER, GUYS. BRAND NEW AND SEALED IN CLAMSHELL PACKAGING.

Being the 'tard that I am, I had to pick it up for the lulz. Initially, I wanted to plant it in the McDonald's bathroom, but figured that there were too many damned kids there. That would make it too big of a dick move even for me. SO I OPENED THE PACKAGE THERE (lol what would my mom say if she saw the package in the trash) and lovingly tucked the little replica of Scirocco's wee-wee into my bag. I plan to use it on Halloween, when I dress up as Kai. IT IS THE ONLY LOGICAL DECISION IN THIS SITUATION.

So yeah. BEHOLD!! PICS, BECAUSE IT TOTALLY DID HAPPEN.

NSFW pictures behind this damned cuuuuuuutCollapse )

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